The beauty of grief.
All the pent up emotions.. All the disappointment and pain. All the things swept under the rug. All the things told to be left untouched and moved on from.
Coming like a ton of bricks.
Like an on-coming train heading straight for you, and you’re too wide-eyed to move. Crashing into you, rushing into you.
Oh the memories. Oh the terrors. Oh the deeply scary emotions of death. Near death. Brokenness. Trust trampled on.
Oh the pain. Oh the unspeakable feelings that can’t be explained, only felt.
Only grieved. Fully and fully. Feeling all of it, the tears falling down. Tumbling down. Can’t stop the breathing the trembling and quick breathing. Can’t stop the tears. Like when a rainstorm soaks and tears. Oh from the depths of my soul it comes forth.
I ask God why. Why? How come? Why me? Confusion anger hurt anger disappointment anger.
But after these deeply felt moments, I feel free for a second. Lighter. The burden has lifted. I’ve dealt with that moment of suppressed pain.
Onto the next.